The Myth of Wet and Ready: A Saga That Has Lasted Too Long

The Myth of Wet and Ready: A Saga That Has Lasted Too Long

The amount of lubrication in your vagina does not always correlate with your level arousal and that is okay.

Scenario: You’re ready to pounce and dive into penetrative play. But one thing is holding you back. Your vagina does not have the amount of moisture it needs. Do you:

  1. Get discouraged and feel like your vagina is not doing what its supposed to
  2. Don't think twice and grab your lubricant

If you didn’t answer “b,” I hope your answer changes today

9 out of 10 women report the use of lubrication made sex feel “more comfortable,” “more pleasurable,” or just “better” (2).

 What does that tell us? If you need it, use it and improve the feeling of sex.

How does vaginal lubrication work? The physiology



(If these layers don’t look familiar, read: Mysteries of the Deep: Demystifying the Vagina and its surroundings before going forward.)

Sodium (Na+) arrives at the lamina propria through blood vessels. Blood vessels maintain a stable amount of blood flow, which means a stable amount of Na+. The Na+ travels back and forth from the lamina propria to the epithelium. Water, or moisture, follows Na+ and this leads to a resting volume of natural vaginal lubrication (2).

The epithelium is the layer of the vaginal you touch when you insert a finger into the vagina.

Blood flow increases carry increased Na+ to the lamina propria with arousal. This leads to more Na+ moving into the epithelium than the lamina propria can reabsorb. Remember moisture follows Na+. More Na+ arriving at the epithelium equals more vaginal moisture (2).

There are a lot of body processes and external influences that could impact this process.

 Age, vaginal microbiome, hormones, pregnancy status, ethnicity, diet, overall health, medication use, mood, immune system, environment all can influence this process (3). This is not an exhaustive list.

If you are ever concerned about your vaginal lubrication or health of your vaginal tissue, it is important to discuss this with your doctor.

So, you need some lubricant. What should you buy?

Look for a lubricant with an osmolality below 1200 mOsm/kg (4). Osmolality is the amount of dissolved substance (Na+) in a sample (5). Hyperosmotic means that there is a greater amount of Na+ in the lubricant than in the surrounding tissue. This leads to moisture being pulled from the vaginal walls and causes increased dryness, severe irritation, tissue damage, and cell death (4,5). It is important to remember that most condoms are pre-lubricated, so you want to be me aware of what you buy. Your lubricant should also be free from parabens, glycols, and glycerin.


Know Your Lubricant Change your world from the inside

There are three main types of lubricants sold: oil based, water based, and silicone based. Each of the bases have different positives and negatives. Your choice of lubricant may change from day to day and may vary based on the type of play you are participating in.

 Oil Based:

An oil based lubricant is a great option if you want a lot of glide and you want it to last longer throughout your sexual experience.

  • Long-lasting
  • Protection for dry or irritated tissues
  • NOT compatible with latex condoms
  • Sometimes stains

 Water Based:

A water based lubricant can be useful if you need a little help getting things started. It often needs to be reapplied and does not last as long as some of the other options.

  • Rehydrates tissue
  • Often needs to be reapplied
  • Compatible with natural rubber, latex and polyisoprene condoms and toys


If you have a lot of dryness and discomfort, using an oil based lubricant inside of the vagina and a water based lubricant on a toy or penis can greatly reduce friction and make penetration really comfortable.

Silicone Based:

A silicone based lubricant is the longest lasting lubricant and is very slippery. You’ll need less product with no need to stop and reapply.

  • Longest-lasting
  • Very slippery
  • Protection for dry or irritated tissues
  • Not compatible with silicone based toys

If you are not sure where to start, you’re in a good place. Honey Dew’s lubricants are vagina safe. Don’t think twice and grab your lubricant.




Ariel Zablocki PT, DPT







  1. Jozkowski KN, Herbenick D, Schick V, Reece M, Sanders SA, Fortenberry JD. Women’s perceptions about lubricant use and vaginal wetness during sexual activities. The journal of sexual medicine. 2013 Feb 1;10(2):484–92.
  2. Biology of Sexual Function in Females. Boston University School of Sexual Medicine . (2002). Retrieved March 25, 2023, from
  3. Don, K. R., Padma, K. R., Chandana, B. V., Anjum, M. R., & Mohan, S. (2023). Influence of vaginal microbiota on sexual and Reproductive Health: A mini review. Entomology and Applied Science Letters, 10(1), 11–28.
  4. World Health Organization. (2012). Use and procurement of additional lubricants for male and female. Advisory Note. Retrieved April 1, 2023, from
  5. Wilkinson EM, Łaniewski P, Herbst-Kralovetz MM, Brotman RM. Personal and Clinical Vaginal Lubricants: Impact on Local Vaginal Microenvironment and Implications for Epithelial Cell Host Response and Barrier Function. J Infect Dis. 2019 Nov 6;220(12):2009-2018. doi: 10.1093/infdis/jiz412. PMID: 31539059; PMCID: PMC6834067.


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